Cancer, Chemo and God's Love

I had an appointment with my oncologist earlier this week; my 12 month check-up since finishing my chemotherapy treatments for stage 1, HER 2+ breast cancer. After checking in, I took my seat and looked around.  The room was full of people, some patients with their hats covering their heads, and some their loved ones who came to sit with them during their treatment. 

As I sat there I remembered that it was only a year ago that I was one of the ones wearing a hat, consumed with thoughts of doctor appointments and pharmacies, health insurance and side effects.

Cancer is scary.  Treatment for cancer can be just as scary, if not more so.  Coming to the decision of what type of treatment to take is agonizing. I went through a lumpectomy, 5 months of chemo along with 12 months of Herceptin through a port I had surgically implanted, and 6 weeks of radiation, which was what my doctor recommended. I had to take a year off from teaching due to sickness, nausea, and fatigue.  I lost my hair. All this to lower my chances of recurrence from 40% to 10%. 

I can't say that I would choose to go through this again, but I do have to point out that in my agony and suffering, God revealed Himself to me in a brand new way.  I was in church, listening to the Gospel reading about the 99 sheep in the sheepfold, and the one lost sheep that the shepherd went back out to search for. I could see that I was the lost sheep, separated from the flock, and moving toward the edge of the cliff of despair. But since I had cried out to God, He came to me, hoisted me up on His shoulders, and carried me back.

I have never felt so loved and cared for by God.  I have never felt so loved and cared for by my family and friends.  I have never felt the power of prayer so strongly as I did during this past year.  I feel like I must be one of God's favorites, for choosing me to get so close to Him. I am not the poor, little, lost sheep; rather I am the blessed, redeemed, found sheep!

At this point I am cancer-free. Thank you, Jesus. The doctors don't know if I am in the 10% who will have recurrence, or in the 90% who won't, because only a clean bill of health can reveal that one examination at a time.  But I do know that I am 100% watched out for and cared for by God, and what could be a better prognosis than that?